WARNING - GLOWING PREGNANCY POST

First to update on the dog situation. I had the idea to call his vet in my Aunt's home town. He informed me that yes, he had diagnosed the dog with a severe heart murmur when my Aunt first adopted him three years ago. He also informed me that he advised my Aunt at the time that this condition was not surprising for a dog of his size and breed and that it was also not something she should become panicked about. He told her that these dogs rarely make it past 15 years of age and with a good diet and good exercise, Benji's heart murmur would probably not cause problems significantly before then. He told her the symptoms to look for in case he developed heart disease and has checked Benji regularly and saw no development in the murmur or heart disease. He did confirm my suspicion that my Aunt is leaning towards not treating the heart disease if/when it appears. However, he also seemed to support this decision.

Knowing this, I have not yet called my Aunt. Although I may not make the same decisions if it were my dog, I respect her right to do so. Obviously she knows about the murmur so I would not be giving her any new information. I will tell her about our trip to the emergency clinic when she checks in with me next. Benji, for his part, is doing extremely well. While I know the whole choking thing was very, very traumatic, the aftermath has meant wet food (for a week to be easier on his throat) and lots and lots of special attention. I have brought his bed into my office and he sleeps while I type all day. I have started walking him twice a day (and letting him out in the yard frequently) and he sleeps on our bed, along with my two cats. Between the cats, the dog, and my pillows, poor Rick is not left with much room.

OK - Pregnancy report beyond this point!

I have done lots and lots of whining about this pregnancy. I have told you about my nausea and my anxiety but what I have not done is tell you how happy I am. I have not done so because it seems unfair. It is unfair that I have gotten pregnant and the people that I care about, that I pray for, that are my friends are still struggling. And yet I am pregnant. And I believe I will likely stay that way until I have a baby! And I want to tell those of you who want to hear about it, the good side.

I am going to make a list of ten things I love about this pregnancy.

1. I love telling people I am pregnant and seeing that they are truly, sincerely happy for me. In fact some of them (parents and siblings, etc) are just as excited as I am!

2. I love buying and wearing maternity clothes. It is such a victory to be able to shop in a store that I would not previously allow myself to look at as I passed by.

3. I love eating healthy and knowing that I am doing it for a baby. Don't get me wrong, I don't eat exclusively healthy, but I am eating smaller more balanced meals most of the time and love that this is something I can do to help make my child healthy.

4. I love my belly! I love touching it and talking to it and rubbing it. I love watching it grow.

5. I love hearing his heartbeat. That sound can bring me to tears every single time. It is amazing to know it is inside me. Despite that, I did not rent a doppler (I knew I would be obsessive about it). I am very jealous that Rick can now sometimes hear it by simply putting his head on my belly.

6. I love getting ultrasounds. It was not only reassuring to see my little Boo alive and wiggling on the screen but it also allowed this pregnancy to become more real! Hard to disbelieve when it is there in plain sight.

7. I love feeling Boo move. I think aside from my belly, this may be my very favorite part. It is not at all what I expected it to feel like. Sometimes it is even very uncomfortable, and yet I always, always love it. I love feeling him change positions, or kick or punch. And I love it when he sticks his body parts, or his whole body, up into one area of my belly.

8. I love that my hope has now turned to expectation. I no longer hope that this pregnancy will work out, I expect that it will. While that does not mean that I am no longer scared, it does mean that I can imagine having this baby and bringing him home. I have been known to sit and think about that for long periods at a time.

9. I love looking at baby stuff. I have not bought anything yet, and probably will not buy anything until just before he is born. My intention is to have only the bare minimum in clothing, a bassinet, a car seat, and some diapers and toiletries before his birth. I figure everything else can wait until later. Although I now expect him to be born, I am also aware that things can still go wrong, and if they do I do not want to have to pack up a babies room. Regardless of that, I have started researching things like car seats, strollers, nursery furniture, etc and it fills my heart with joy that I have a reason to do so.

10. I love what this pregnancy has done to my husband. My husband smiles again. He is obsessed with my belly (to the point of demanding belly time if I am taking to long to come out of my office once he gets home). He talks into the belly before he leaves for work, as soon as he comes home, and before we go to sleep. He lays there and tells our son all the things he's grateful for and what kind of dad he hopes to be. Surprisingly, the boy always becomes very active while Rick is doing this and Rick gets kicked in the face almost every time as he gently lays his head on my belly and talks to his son.

There you have it. Although I may not have focused on this stuff before now, I don't want you to think that I am only moaning and groaning my way through this pregnancy. I am not. I am enjoying it too.

I so wish you could all have what I have right now. I will continue to hope and pray until each one of you do.