Two Years

Two years ago today I wrote my very first blog entry. I wasn't exactly new to blogging. I had been reading other peoples blogs for well over a year before I started my own. But I hadn't commented. I left my first comment the night before I started my own blog. Looking back on it, I'm not sure why I waited so long to comment on blogs. I used to think it was because early on I emailed a blogger that I felt I had a connection with and she never emailed me back. Now, I'm not so sure that was the reason. I think I was overwhelmed with the knowledge you all had. Overwhelmed with how opinionated some people were. Overwhelmed with my situation. I think I had a little big of ostrich syndrome. If I don't comment, if I am just an observer, then I don't really belong to this community. I'm having trouble but surely I'm not INFERTILE.

Looking back on it, I wish I had been blogging when I went through my miscarriage. I think I would have recovered more quickly, felt better about myself if I had support from people who had been through it.

When I was trying to conceive, it seemed that life had stopped. It seemed that that part of my life had been there forever. I remember thinking that I had been reading blogs (and then writing my own) for SO long. And now, when I look back on it objectively, 3.5 years. That's not so much in the course of 34 years. Not so much to get the bliss I have now. But then.... then .... well there were times I really wasn't sure I could endure one more day. Really wasn't sure I was going to survive.

So thank you all! Thank you for being a friend. Thank you for helping me through the most difficult part of my life so far. I can't express what a difference it made to me.