I'm Back

Well some months just suck shit. I saw two lines for three days (well really two days and one day with a magnifying glass) but by the time I got my beta done it was under ten. Of course my beta was 3 days late because of a series of events that could easily become a movie plot - an infertile woman on vacation denied the pleasure of drinking her face off because she has to continue metformin and PIO until her beta but the hospital blood lab (the only lab in town) closes for 5 consecutive days due to various holidays, water pipe failures and lack of electricity. By day 19 post day 5 transfer woman drives 4 hours to get beta because she needs a drink that bad!

The day we got home my sister-in-law, who also struggled with infertility and miscarriage, but who now has a gorgeous one year old, found out her mother had a brain tumour. No worries, the tumour was a very common benign tumour that they surgically remove all the time. Surgery happend 5 days ago. Surgery went perfectly. They were able to remove all of the tumour and they were right it was not cancerous. Surgeon predicts full recovery. Yesterday she died. Her brain begin to swell and the medication was ineffective. Because it was her actual brain swelling, a shunt did not relieve the pressure. She was 55 and her adorable grand-child will never remember her. My SIL lost her father while she was pregnant so she is now parentless. I am heart broken for her.

However, I got to spend 5 days alone with my nephew (will alone with my husband and my nephew). And for 5 days I got to see what it would be like to have a family. I will not give up! I will have a family! I am just not sure what the fuck I need to do to make that happen.