Monday, September 11, 2006

A Major Case of Nerves

I have started my period and I feel sick to my stomach. I don't think it is my period making me sick. I think I am sick because of the finality of this next step.

On Wednesday I have my day 0 appointment. I pay my fees. I start my stims.

Am I really going to do this all again?

Am I really going to do the daily needles, the daily blood and ultrasounds, the worry about not having enough follicles and then the worry about having too many. Am I really going to do a second retrieval? And in the love of anything sane, am I really going to do another transfer with yet another doctor.

Am I ready to plunk down my $11,000.00 and face the prospect of failure, but also a glimmer of hope.

You bet I am! Excuse me while I go puke now.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ah, yes... you are indeed doing it again. Cuz you are a tough cookie and you know what you want!

Hoping, hoping, hoping this time does it.

Anonymous said...

Just a normal case of the pre-treatment cycle jitters... it'll all be worth it when you're a mommy.

~r said...

Why yes, yes you are going to do it again.

Here's to calm nerves and a successful cycle! Or.. not-so-calm nerves and a successful cycle.

Good luck!

NikkiM said...

The only place I admit it is on my own blog, but if jus tthe anticipation DURING the cycle drives me mental, I can only imagine what you are going through! I feel it for you girl ;)

Pamplemousse said...

I will join you in the pre-cycle puking!

Anonymous said...

Yes, you are going to do this all again. Just remember they are going to stim you low and slow. Obviously, the ostrich isn't working as well as you had hoped.

Hoping more than you know that this is the cycle for you.

Jenna said...

Yes, you are going to do this again.. and you are very mentally prepared for it all... It will be good, you will get through this.

ninaB said...

I know that feeling well too.
But you can't not try, right?

I wanted to comment on an earlier post about your mom. It sounds like you two have a great relationship. I've grown closer to my mom over the years but it is hard to share this stuff, especially when you know that it's just going to make them worry. I've flipped back & forth on whether I'd let my husband and sister know about my blog because I want them to understand what I'm going through...but so far I've held back. What did you decide about sharing your blog with your mom?

Alli and Frankie said...

Oh, I am praying for you right now, girl. {{hugs}}

Maya said...

I hope you will have better reasons to puke soon. :)

Anonymous said...

I'm hoping for you! Hope the nausea has abated some...

soralis said...

I am in the mid cycle puke stage right now so maybe we can be bathroom buddies! All kidding aside, good luck!

Anonymous said...

Good luck Krista!

Thalia said...

I hope that appointment went well. Glad you're back in the game. Oh please may this be the last time.

Serenity said...

I can identify with that fear 1000%. Hang in there - you're going to do great!