Cranky

I warned you, I am very cranky.

It is currently 5:58 am and I have been awake for almost 2 hours. You don't know me but this is not a good or normal event. There is usually only one 6:00 in my day, and it occurs at night. I am the lady that even while pregnant will happily not wake up until 8:30 if left to my own devices. I am not sure why I cannot sleep because I am plenty tired. It could be that my husband, who has been complaining lately that he was going to have to change beds because me and the belly and my new pillows are taking up most of our queen sized bed and he has been not sleeping well, decided to fight back and I spent most of the night with his asleep body in my space while at least half the bed went unused. Or it could be because he did laundry today and decided to put flannel sheets on the bed and then did not turn down the heat before coming to bed. Or it could be because I fell asleep on the couch before bed and my hips were sore before even going to bed. Whatever the reason, here I am, dead tired and unable to sleep.

I have been struggling with what to post lately. I haven't really considered giving up blogging because I enjoy this community too much but I must admit I am struggling with the transition I am naturally facing. It seems I only write about pregnancy related stuff lately. It's boring, even to me. And while I know you all like updates (cause I know I did when my bloggy friends got pregnant) there is no reason why I couldn't write about more interesting stuff most of the time. The reality is that I seem to be lacking in inspiration. It seems that between working, eating and trying to get a few minutes of exercise (mostly walking) in each day, I seem to have given up independent thought. I am just so tired that even world events and politics don't seem to interest me as much anymore.

Don't get me wrong, I am not apathetic. I hate that there has been so much suffering in Florida and Indonesia. I can't imagine living through such a series of devastating storms. And I am not just talking about these tornadoes but it seems as if between tornadoes and hurricanes, Florida has been unjustly attacked in the last several years. When will our leaders start to take climate change more seriously.

And I hate what's currently going on in Iraq. I am scared for soldiers who are fighting there. I am scared for the children growing up in Iraq who will know this terror most of their lives. While I understand that the war got rid of a horrible person and leader, I think it has ultimately done more damage to the country than could ever have been foretold. And I don't think there is an easy solution to the ongoing violence that has been created. I recognize that if the US pulls out of the country now, it could be overtaken by factious groups. I also recognize that the ongoing presence of the US forces is likely making this violence worse. Sigh.....

And I hate what we, as a society, are doing to our environment. I hate that many of our leaders, including my own, and many of our citizens are not willing to make the sacrifices necessary to start the reversal of this damage. It is so easy to be "green" today. So easy to talk the talk without committing to a single thing to change it. I am not pointing fingers, I am a prime example. My husband and I have two cars. Although we have tried to choose vehicles that have relatively low fuel consumption, we have not yet bought a hybrid. We still use oil as a heat source. We have not explored solar as a method of cutting some of our energy usage. I compost and am an avid recycler. I usually have only one full bag of garbage for the landfill every two weeks. But so far, despite my disgust with environmental problems that seems to be the only real contribution I have made.

I have been toying with the idea of using cloth diapers. I have been considering the possibility for many years (back when I naively thought I would just get pregnant whenever I wanted). I have read the literature, I know that diapers (mostly because of their plastic components) can take from 2-5 years to break down. And I know that each infant will use approximately 5000 diapers before it is toilet trained. That is a lot of landfill space that will be taken up for a long time. Luckily, some companies are starting to recycle what they can of diapers. I have found this company that operates in my area for a very reasonable fee. It is owned by this parent company that offers services through much of the world.

But cloth diapers are so much different than they used to be. First of all, they are damn cute. And they are so much more affordable in the long run than disposable. But I have to wonder if they are really more environmentally friendly, especially given the above diaper recycling service. It takes tones of water to wash all these diapers. Clean water is a precious commodity in our society to. And at a time when we are being asked to conserve water I am wondering if it is really better to use cloth diapers. Sure water can be reused, but first it must go through expensive cleansing processes to get the detergents and waste out. And that is not even considering the extra energy use that goes into running the washer and dryer more often.

So my readers... any comments about cloth versus plastic diapers, from an environmental standpoint or from personal experience?