Posing some questions and giving some answers

There have been several questions posed in my comments. For some reason it never occurred to me to post a comment and answer the questions right away, although I have seen others do so and thought it was really neat. Anywho....

Several of you asked about shared risk programs and whether I had considered that option seeing as how my last IVF and ensuing FET's had gone tits up. As far as I know there are no shared risk programs at Canadian Fertility Clinics. I have checked at my clinic and the other clinics that I know of in Ontario. I have also researched several other clinics in Canada but have not found such a program. If any of my Canadian readers know of such a program, please let me know.

The closest US city to me is Buffalo but the research I have done on their infertility clinics (and I admit it is all web based) seems to suggest that they don't have the best facilities. The closest recommended US fertility clinic to me is in Rochester. http://www.cnyfertility.com/costs.html They charge $20,000.00 (currently $22,500.00 Canadian currency) for their shared risk program. 6 fresh IVF cycles and unlimited FET (if you qualify for the program) in 2 years. If it doesn't work, you get all of your money back. This does not include medication. Most of the clinics here in Canada charge around $5,000.00 for IVF and this includes all the consultations, blood work, ultrasounds etc. It also does not include medication. So in Canada 6 cycles would cost $24,000.00 but I would not get my money back if it did not work. The question, outside of am I prepared to do 6 cycles and how much of a gambler am I, is "am I willing to drive 2 and 1/2 hours for treatment. I mean that doesn't sound like a long drive but you all know how often you have to go to the clinic during an active cycle. Every day for at least 10 days. I would be driving a minimum of 5 hours each of those days. And driving that much when I am very emotional. Just not sure that's smart.

Someone else asked the question about whether my insurance would cover my water damage. No it doesn't. The water poured in through an old window. My policy says it will not cover the cost of repairs if the problem was in existence at the time the policy was put in place (or the cost of ongoing maintenance to ensure such problems do not arise). The window is probably 30 years old - we should have checked it and had it replaced when we moved in. They would cover damage to any of my contents as a result of the water damage. However we didn't have any. The basement is unfinished. We use it as storage and although I am not always so smart, I had the foresight to put almost everything into plastic rubbermaid storage containers.

But as it turns out, it might not cost as much to fix this mess as originally feared. We spent about $300 on various items like a shop vac (to suck up the water), caulking (to temporarily keep any water outside until the window could be replaced, bleach and various other cleaning supplies (to ensure there is no mould growth), etc. The two contractors that have been here to give me quotes have both agreed that nothing major needs to be done to the basement floor. They say it will cost between $600 - $1000 to replace the window and probably $3000 - $4000 to fix the basement floor and replace the wooden support wall that has some rot (and should have alerted us to previous water problems!). That is doable and in fact some of it, like replacing the window, we could do ourselves and save some money.

Inspired by Manuela, http://manuela.blogs.com/thin_pink_line/ , I had lots and lots of baby making sex this month. You girls know that after you progress from sex to IUI to IVF, you have very little faith that something as primitive as sex could get you pregnant. But, it is not a urban legend, not some myth made up 20,000 years ago to give hope to the barren. Manuela is pregnant and has the pictures to prove it. And she got pregnant in between treatment by.... gasp... having sex! Anyway, it is also not a success story for everyone because on CD 32 I am most definitely not pregnant and I am pretty sure I ovulated on CD 20 so it was not too early to test.

So now I am left deciding what to do. I should be staring my period in the next day or two. Once that happens I could get things rolling on a 2nd fresh IVF cycle. I simply go in for day 3 blood work and ultrasound and then on day 21 start suppression (Suprefact)... approximately 8-10 days later I would be staring stims.

Those of you who have read from the beginning will know that I am not enamored with my current IVF clinic. I love my doctor but I do not get to see her all the time and some of the nurses are sweet and some are bitches. The clinics success rates are average, 35% success for women under 35. Success is defined by the presence of a heartbeat at 6 weeks.

The new doctor I went to for a 2nd opinion posts a success rate of 51% for women between 30-35 but success is defined as pregnancy - positive beta. Having been there and no baby to show for it, I don't consider that very fucking successful.

The fertility centre I considered in Calgary posts a success rate of 55%. But again this success rate is listed as "pregnancy rate". Although it is not specified, my guess is that this means positive beta's.

I do not think that I could compare a 35% success of getting people to the point of a beating heart (where I know things can still go wrong but at that point is a lot less likely) to 55% success of getting a positive beta (cause we all know that those fuckers don't always double or keep doubling).

So, what to do. I have read your stories, so I know that I can get bitchy nurses at whichever clinic I go to. My doctor is a very positive woman. She explains things (although sometimes has to be prodded for details like #'s) and seems to believe that she can get us pregnant yet. She tells us that we have been so close (2 chemical) and that we just have to create the right circumstances. Her newest theory is that we should decrease the dose of stims to ensure I don't overstimulate (last time made 32 antral follicles and retrieved 19 mature eggs) and see if we can grow fewer eggs over a longer time period (last time I was slow to start developing but once I did they were mature in approx 5 days).

She says things like "you make great eggs, he has great sperm, you make perfect embryo's, we just need to get that lining as thick and cushy as we can and maybe the lower level of estrogen (last time mine went up to 12,000) will make the environment nicer for them to stick around. Don't give up, I can't guarantee anything but I believe we will get you pregnant yet."

So I am left deciding. I like my doctor. I like that she knows my cervix and very rarely has problems with it anymore (not a statement I can make for new doctors). I did get pregnant the first time. At least 15-20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. Maybe that won't happen again.

Or maybe... I should change clinics, get out of Dodge, find a new protocol and a change of scenery. Maybe I should suck up the drive and go to the shared risk program in the States.

Please feel free to offer advice or assvice.

Also, I had a great weekend camping. I will post about it, with pictures once I get some work done.