I have decided to wait until Thursday. No more beta for me until the day of the ultrasound. Ultimately I cannot control what the HCG is doing and constant testing will only make me obsess about it. This will either work or not and the only thing I can do is sit back and watch.
Totally unlike me, the woman who peed on a stick every day last week, even though I had already gotten a positive.
My perspective has come from my realization that nothing about infertility or pregnancy is fair. There is no justice and there is no control. And there aren't always happy endings no matter how much you or others may pray for them.
My heart is simply broken for dear, sweet Manuela. I have cried tears and yelled and cursed and raged at the heavens. If there was justice in the world, this would never have happened. The fact that she is handling the devestation with strength and grace is both amazing and inspiring.
That she deserves to be a parent is not questionable to anyone who knows her. Please go show her how much her strength and grace inspires us.
I hope they always stay this close!
15 comments:
You are right, Krista, nothing about infertility or pregnancy is fair. And the sad thing, is there is really nothing any of us can do about it. My heart breaks for Manuela.
Thursday will bring you good news. It has to. I said so. :)
I hate that everything is so unfair and we can't all expect happy endings. It is just so unfair and sucks so much. It take everything in me to not scream and cry like a child when I think about how unfair and devastating it all is.
I really hope that Thursday brings good news for you. I really want you to have your miracle.
thinking of you now and on thursday.
I hate it that Manuela is going through this. It is so unbelievably cruel and unfair.
I hope that your ultrasound goes well. You are in my thoughts.
It just seem so wrong that people go through such hell to get pregnant, only to be faced with such heartbreak. There's nothing fair about it. I have also been praying for Manuela--their loss has hit so many of us hard.
I'm hoping for nothing but the best on Thursday. You're a stronger woman than I would be to wait that long.
It is just totally awful, I agree with you. It's just so hard that there is really nothing we can do to make sure we end up on the good side of the stats. There's always someone on the bad side.
Hoping for you.
This journey stinks.
Pulling for you on Thursday! Can't wait to hear what happens.
well you're right,,,nothing is fair about IF or pregnancy, but I am keeping my fingers crossed and my hope up that good news keeps coming :)
krista...i am thinking only good thoughts for you...you're so right, nothing about infertility or pregnancy is fair...but lots of women stay preggo...praying that this will stick...
peace
shlomit
I am so excited tomorrow is the day of the U/S... How are you doing?
Oh man, tomorrow is the day! Good luck!
Thinking of you for tomorrow!
It's Thursday & I have begun sending you cosmic esp messages of support (and a few dirty ones)
Well said. Nothing about pregnancy is predicable or controlable. Patience is the only requirement and lots of it.
Anyways, I'm biting my nails for you today in anticipation and hope that all is as it should be for the moment... Courage!
It's Thursday. Thinking about you today ... and still holding my breath with you.
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