I am a stress eater.
I do not deny it. In fact, most of the time I am aware that I am stress eating and choose to continue to do so because.. well.. because I am stressed.
I have been this way all my life. But for the most part it has not caused huge weight fluctuations. I have never been skinny or tiny (certainly never had a flat belly) but I have never been overtly overweight either. Because I am short, it only takes an extra 5-7 pounds to change clothing sizes.
Last year when I came home from my brain surgery I was depressed. I was depressed and anxious (bordering on neurotic) and boy did I eat. I gained about 10 pounds and it took most of the winter to get it all off. But since my sister's death I have had absolutely no control. I know what I am doing to myself. I know what a health risk it is. I know that my sister likely died because of her weight and yet I feel powerless to stop myself for reaching whatever I have grabbed.
I have gained a few pounds. More importantly though, I have blown up like a beach ball. It seems that I may have gone back to my pre-pregnancy weight but my skin most certainly did not go back to it's pre-pregnancy elasticity. I have gained less than 10 pounds and look bigger than I ever have in my entire life.
Again I have known this for a while. But it is one thing to know it and quite another to have it in print right in front of your face . A few days ago, my sister-in-law posted this picture to a popular social networking website.
Tonight at 7:30 I am joining Weight.Wat.chers. Because this cannot continue. Especially if I want to try to get pregnant again.
Edited to Add
Tonight's meeting informed me that I have to lose 18 pounds to be my pre- ttc weight (which in fairness was 7-8 years ago) or 14 pounds to the top of the goal weight range, a BMI of 25. My goal is 1 pound per week so I should either be 18 pounds lighter or pregnant by Christmas, any bets on which is more likely to happen first! To make it a fair bet I should tell you that we have already had several opportunities for a suprise, your no longer infertile baby and it hasn't happened. And that I already have an appointment with my clinic for the end of the month but I will have at least one month of re-testing before I can actually do a treatment.
5 comments:
Good luck with WW! Thinking of you!
Well, I think you look good.
No word yet on a meet up. We must have a three-way (conversation, that is) and figure out a day perhaps in Sept or Oct.
I don't think you look that bad either but I support anything that makes you healthier and makes you feel better. I know that you can achieve your weight loss goal and I'm really hoping and praying hard for this second baby to come easy, too!
You do not look like a beach ball. I know the struggle with stress eating all too well.
I have a couple of WW cookbooks if you want to borrow them. And maybe we can pick a spot between us and walk once or twice a week. Sound like a plan?
Good luck with ww...I know a lot of people who were really successful with it. And BTW, you look great!!
I hope the appointment goes well.
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