I swear. A lot. I use fuck mostly, because it adequately describes the strength of my anguish/anger/disgust/despair. I figure if I am upset enough to swear it might as well convey the right message.
But I don't use religious terminology when I swear. I go to church. I believe in God. I pray. And I don't believe that God has anything to do with whether or not I actually get pregnant at any given moment or treatment so I have no reason to be angry with him/her, I just look for comfort.
Today, however I held nothing back when I swore.
Today is cycle day 21. My doctor prefers a long cycle when doing IVF. On cd21 you start suppression medication (her preference is Suprefact). On day 0 (any day within first week of your period - the appointment is booked ahead of time so it is often slightly after the first day of your period) you do ultrasound and blood work to check for suppression and then you start stims. Stims usually go 2 weeks and then retrieval and transfer.
Generally you are supposed to have your "set up" appointment in advance of day 21. However, my IVF nurse was on vacation last week and I wasn't able to get an appointment with her before she went. Neither of us were terribly concerned about that as this was my 2nd IVF and I know what to expect.
So my appointment today went something like this:
Me: How was my day 3 blood results (I forgot to call in for them)
Her: Great (give you the details later)
Us: small talk and signing consents
Her: So you will probably start stimming mid-September. Dr. Comforting will be gone by then.
>>>>>>>>>>>Silence so loud it hurts your ears<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Her: Oh no, you don't know! Dr. Comforting is on maternity leave. She is scheduled for a C section on September 12
>>>>>>>>>>>>a lot more silence<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Her: I would have thought Dr. Comforting would have told you when you saw her in July
Me: Can you please leave us alone for a few minutes
Ok people, lest you think that I am being overly bitter, please remember that I have not yet done a fresh IVF cycle with my doctor because for my last cycle in October 2005 she was on maternity leave! In fact her 1st child was born sometime late September, early October 2005. You do the math. Never mind, the math has been in my head all fucking day. 2-3 months!!!!
She was pregnant within 2-3 months of giving birth.
Also remember that I seriously considered leaving this clinic and decided to stay because lovely Dr. Comforting convince me in July that I should try again. That there were things we could do differently and that she believed we would get pregnant.
And maybe you are all wondering how the hell I didn't notice that she was 7 months pregnant at the time! Well first of all let me tell you that Dr. Comforting never really lost her first pregnancy weight (well as it turns out she probably did and just turned it into 2nd pregnancy weight but who the hell knew) and second she was wearing a lab coat and sat behind a desk for 90% of the visit.
So, if I cycle in September it will not be with Dr. Comforting. The current system in place to cover her maternity is that the doctor in that day will review the blood and ultrasound results and decide the dosage. A different doctor every day to decide the dosage. Doctors who will have benefit of my file in front of them but will probably never read it. Doctors who don't know me and will be seeing me in addition to their own patients. Doctors who probably won't be wanting to "argue" with me about how my cycle should go.
In addition the director of the clinic, who is also head of obstectrics at one of the local hospitals, will supervise her patients and be the "deciding vote" if anything unusual is going on.
So. you see why I had to ask the IVF nurse to give me a few minutes while I quickly turned to my husband and said many many many bad words. Because why in the love of God does nothing ever go smoothly. Why I am faced with this information on fucking day 21 when my choice is to take the supression injection right fucking now or not and not cycle this month. And why do infertiles have to face fertility everywhere, even at their infertility clinic??????
For those of you wondering my stats on Day 3 were:
FSH - 4.8
LH - 2.4
E2 - 134? (I wrote down 134 but I remembered it being over 200 - not sure why?)
PRL - 18.3 (not sure what that is)
TSH - 1.92 (don't know what this is either)
Antral Follicles - 12 on the right and 17 on the left.
In the space of 15 minutes I realized that if I don't cycle at this clinic there will be no cycling this month. That no matter if I stay at this clinic or go elsewhere I will have a new doctor this cycle. And that I was not capable of making these decisions while I was still in shock. I got the shot, bought the $80 bottle of Suprefact and told the IVF nurse that I was not paying my IVF fees until day 0. That I would probably still cycle this month but that if in a couple days I was changing my mind I would stop taking the Suprefact and call and let her know.
I am mentally prepared for IVF this month. I have also not booked one single court appearance, negotiation meeting or client meeting for the two week period during which I would be finishing stims, doing retrieval or transfer.
So question is to fret or not to fret? Do I cancel or roll with the punches and keep going?
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Thursday, August 24, 2006
I have a friend!
Tonight I had dessert with My Reality . I not only met a fabulous person who understands infertility but I also got to eat fantastic chocolate cake. It was a very great evening!
A couple of weeks ago My Reality guessed that we attend the same clinic. She emailed me and we have been emailing back and forth. So not only were we able to discuss infertility, we were able to gossip about our clinics, the doctors and nurses and meds, procedures, costs .......
We will be both be doing IVF in the fall (well if everything works out for her and I really really hope it does) and we will have a real life person to share the hopes and frustrations with.
And since we both read and enjoy Gravida we have agreed that our next outing should be to get pedicures. Now do you see why I am so excited. I have a friend who has personal knowledge of infertility and loves the spa!!!!!!! And honestly we are only going to the spa because neither of us have painted our toenails in support of the last round of pregnancies. It's not for any other self-serving reason, promise.
I know I've said it before, but it bears repeating. I am so grateful for this wonderful supportive community. How great that I can have friends who "just get it" both in blog land and in real life.
****By the way, did you notice that I learned how to hyperlink. I can't believe how easy that was and how long I didn't figure it out. And I still didn't figure it out, My Reality told me that it was just a friggin button on the tool bar. Who knew!
A couple of weeks ago My Reality guessed that we attend the same clinic. She emailed me and we have been emailing back and forth. So not only were we able to discuss infertility, we were able to gossip about our clinics, the doctors and nurses and meds, procedures, costs .......
We will be both be doing IVF in the fall (well if everything works out for her and I really really hope it does) and we will have a real life person to share the hopes and frustrations with.
And since we both read and enjoy Gravida we have agreed that our next outing should be to get pedicures. Now do you see why I am so excited. I have a friend who has personal knowledge of infertility and loves the spa!!!!!!! And honestly we are only going to the spa because neither of us have painted our toenails in support of the last round of pregnancies. It's not for any other self-serving reason, promise.
I know I've said it before, but it bears repeating. I am so grateful for this wonderful supportive community. How great that I can have friends who "just get it" both in blog land and in real life.
****By the way, did you notice that I learned how to hyperlink. I can't believe how easy that was and how long I didn't figure it out. And I still didn't figure it out, My Reality told me that it was just a friggin button on the tool bar. Who knew!
Friday, August 18, 2006
There really isn't much to say.
I seem to have a hard time lately thinking or talking about infertility. I am being a complete ostrich and it is kind of nice.
Of course that is about to come to a close.
August 30th is CD 21 and the day I start supression. Assuming I get my period on time, CD 1 will be September 11th - bit of a suspicious start don't you think?
And that's how I feel about this cycle.... suspicious. Not really hopeful, not really negative either. Like there is a little voice inside of me that would like to believe there's a chance and since I don't want to shut her up but I know the heartache she may cause, I keep stuffing her deep down inside so it's harder and harder to hear her. And then she sounds so far away and strange it is easy for me to think "who is this moron....doesn't she know the truth....has she learned nothing" and I go eat my breakfast.
And I've gotten to the point where I can no longer picture being pregnant or bringing home a baby with any kind of clarity. I can dream about it....and I do. But I can't see it in my mind's eye. When I daydream it is with words. I daydream about a June baby, just in time for summer's warmth and summer's visitors. I daydream about buying a stroller and a sling and finally having my baby with me all the time. But I can no longer make those daydreams into picutres. I can no longer see my baby or imagine that it will really happen.
These days it is more like a fanciful, out-of-reach daydream and I don't really believe it can happen.....as much as I may want it to.
Of course that is about to come to a close.
August 30th is CD 21 and the day I start supression. Assuming I get my period on time, CD 1 will be September 11th - bit of a suspicious start don't you think?
And that's how I feel about this cycle.... suspicious. Not really hopeful, not really negative either. Like there is a little voice inside of me that would like to believe there's a chance and since I don't want to shut her up but I know the heartache she may cause, I keep stuffing her deep down inside so it's harder and harder to hear her. And then she sounds so far away and strange it is easy for me to think "who is this moron....doesn't she know the truth....has she learned nothing" and I go eat my breakfast.
And I've gotten to the point where I can no longer picture being pregnant or bringing home a baby with any kind of clarity. I can dream about it....and I do. But I can't see it in my mind's eye. When I daydream it is with words. I daydream about a June baby, just in time for summer's warmth and summer's visitors. I daydream about buying a stroller and a sling and finally having my baby with me all the time. But I can no longer make those daydreams into picutres. I can no longer see my baby or imagine that it will really happen.
These days it is more like a fanciful, out-of-reach daydream and I don't really believe it can happen.....as much as I may want it to.
Friday, August 11, 2006
What A Wonderful (Blogging) World
Today is CD 2 and I have decided to cycle this month with my old clinic. Thank you all for your advice and support. Ultimately what most of you said was what I felt in my heart... that statistics (success rates) aren't worth the paper their printed on. Or in this case the memory they take up.
I know ART isn't an exact science. I like the fact that my doctor is prepared to admit that. I like the fact that she will listen to my questions or about what I have learned outside (mostly from you) and agree or disagree but not ridicule or condescend. I like that she is ready to admit that perhaps last time wasn't as perfect as she initially thought and I like that she is going for quality over quantity.
In the end I guess, I am not convinced that in my case, being 32 years old with no known problem other than some PCOS tendencies, that a slightly better quality doctor, lab, embryologist, etc would make that significant a difference.
The bitchy nurses, well they ain't seen nothing yet. I am making it my resolution not to feel intimidated by them or guilty for demanding to know information they would prefer not to give. They can be bitchy all they want, I will get the information or I will sit and wait to speak to a doctor.
What this whole discussion has done is make me think of the support I have in this community. I came across blogs completely by accident. I was on a commuter train one evening and a slightly pregnant young woman sat down beside me. Since I was a newbie infertile (in fact, I think at that point I wasn't even convinced I was infertile) I was not bitter at all at her pregnant belly. We started talking and when I told her that I didn't have kids but I was "trying" she confessed that she had had difficulty conceiving and got pregnant on an injectible IUI cycle after several failed clomid IUI cycles. She asked me if I read fertility related blogs and I was all like "Blogs???? What the hell are blogs?" So she told me to go home and read Chez Miscarriage. That night I logged on and found getupgrrl. Now by that time, getupgrrl already knew her surrogate was pregnant. By the time I found her site she was already on the way out so to speak, but my god do I owe that woman. I never met her, I never emailed her, I never even commented on her blog (cause you know there were already like 800 people commenting on there, who would notice). But instantly I felt differently about my lack of baby status. I felt less alone, less isolated, less like a freak.
When getupgrrl started posting less and less, I started visiting blogs she had linked on her sidebar. I found people that made me think, people that made me laugh and people who were just like me. I read their lives in private for months and months. Suddenly one day I realized that I thought these people were my friends, that I was emotionally connected to them so I started to comment and within a week of commenting I started my own blog. Within weeks many of the people I had been reading for months were writing comments on my blog.
I understand that getupgrrl wrote a lot of posts before she got a single commenter. I understand that getupgrrl was instrumental in creating blogworld. So I owe her a debt of gratitude because I belong to a community where people understand me, where I can always get support and where I have created friends. And you will never know how much that means to me (well....actually, you might).
I know ART isn't an exact science. I like the fact that my doctor is prepared to admit that. I like the fact that she will listen to my questions or about what I have learned outside (mostly from you) and agree or disagree but not ridicule or condescend. I like that she is ready to admit that perhaps last time wasn't as perfect as she initially thought and I like that she is going for quality over quantity.
In the end I guess, I am not convinced that in my case, being 32 years old with no known problem other than some PCOS tendencies, that a slightly better quality doctor, lab, embryologist, etc would make that significant a difference.
The bitchy nurses, well they ain't seen nothing yet. I am making it my resolution not to feel intimidated by them or guilty for demanding to know information they would prefer not to give. They can be bitchy all they want, I will get the information or I will sit and wait to speak to a doctor.
What this whole discussion has done is make me think of the support I have in this community. I came across blogs completely by accident. I was on a commuter train one evening and a slightly pregnant young woman sat down beside me. Since I was a newbie infertile (in fact, I think at that point I wasn't even convinced I was infertile) I was not bitter at all at her pregnant belly. We started talking and when I told her that I didn't have kids but I was "trying" she confessed that she had had difficulty conceiving and got pregnant on an injectible IUI cycle after several failed clomid IUI cycles. She asked me if I read fertility related blogs and I was all like "Blogs???? What the hell are blogs?" So she told me to go home and read Chez Miscarriage. That night I logged on and found getupgrrl. Now by that time, getupgrrl already knew her surrogate was pregnant. By the time I found her site she was already on the way out so to speak, but my god do I owe that woman. I never met her, I never emailed her, I never even commented on her blog (cause you know there were already like 800 people commenting on there, who would notice). But instantly I felt differently about my lack of baby status. I felt less alone, less isolated, less like a freak.
When getupgrrl started posting less and less, I started visiting blogs she had linked on her sidebar. I found people that made me think, people that made me laugh and people who were just like me. I read their lives in private for months and months. Suddenly one day I realized that I thought these people were my friends, that I was emotionally connected to them so I started to comment and within a week of commenting I started my own blog. Within weeks many of the people I had been reading for months were writing comments on my blog.
I understand that getupgrrl wrote a lot of posts before she got a single commenter. I understand that getupgrrl was instrumental in creating blogworld. So I owe her a debt of gratitude because I belong to a community where people understand me, where I can always get support and where I have created friends. And you will never know how much that means to me (well....actually, you might).
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Posing some questions and giving some answers
There have been several questions posed in my comments. For some reason it never occurred to me to post a comment and answer the questions right away, although I have seen others do so and thought it was really neat. Anywho....
Several of you asked about shared risk programs and whether I had considered that option seeing as how my last IVF and ensuing FET's had gone tits up. As far as I know there are no shared risk programs at Canadian Fertility Clinics. I have checked at my clinic and the other clinics that I know of in Ontario. I have also researched several other clinics in Canada but have not found such a program. If any of my Canadian readers know of such a program, please let me know.
The closest US city to me is Buffalo but the research I have done on their infertility clinics (and I admit it is all web based) seems to suggest that they don't have the best facilities. The closest recommended US fertility clinic to me is in Rochester. http://www.cnyfertility.com/costs.html They charge $20,000.00 (currently $22,500.00 Canadian currency) for their shared risk program. 6 fresh IVF cycles and unlimited FET (if you qualify for the program) in 2 years. If it doesn't work, you get all of your money back. This does not include medication. Most of the clinics here in Canada charge around $5,000.00 for IVF and this includes all the consultations, blood work, ultrasounds etc. It also does not include medication. So in Canada 6 cycles would cost $24,000.00 but I would not get my money back if it did not work. The question, outside of am I prepared to do 6 cycles and how much of a gambler am I, is "am I willing to drive 2 and 1/2 hours for treatment. I mean that doesn't sound like a long drive but you all know how often you have to go to the clinic during an active cycle. Every day for at least 10 days. I would be driving a minimum of 5 hours each of those days. And driving that much when I am very emotional. Just not sure that's smart.
Someone else asked the question about whether my insurance would cover my water damage. No it doesn't. The water poured in through an old window. My policy says it will not cover the cost of repairs if the problem was in existence at the time the policy was put in place (or the cost of ongoing maintenance to ensure such problems do not arise). The window is probably 30 years old - we should have checked it and had it replaced when we moved in. They would cover damage to any of my contents as a result of the water damage. However we didn't have any. The basement is unfinished. We use it as storage and although I am not always so smart, I had the foresight to put almost everything into plastic rubbermaid storage containers.
But as it turns out, it might not cost as much to fix this mess as originally feared. We spent about $300 on various items like a shop vac (to suck up the water), caulking (to temporarily keep any water outside until the window could be replaced, bleach and various other cleaning supplies (to ensure there is no mould growth), etc. The two contractors that have been here to give me quotes have both agreed that nothing major needs to be done to the basement floor. They say it will cost between $600 - $1000 to replace the window and probably $3000 - $4000 to fix the basement floor and replace the wooden support wall that has some rot (and should have alerted us to previous water problems!). That is doable and in fact some of it, like replacing the window, we could do ourselves and save some money.
Inspired by Manuela, http://manuela.blogs.com/thin_pink_line/ , I had lots and lots of baby making sex this month. You girls know that after you progress from sex to IUI to IVF, you have very little faith that something as primitive as sex could get you pregnant. But, it is not a urban legend, not some myth made up 20,000 years ago to give hope to the barren. Manuela is pregnant and has the pictures to prove it. And she got pregnant in between treatment by.... gasp... having sex! Anyway, it is also not a success story for everyone because on CD 32 I am most definitely not pregnant and I am pretty sure I ovulated on CD 20 so it was not too early to test.
So now I am left deciding what to do. I should be staring my period in the next day or two. Once that happens I could get things rolling on a 2nd fresh IVF cycle. I simply go in for day 3 blood work and ultrasound and then on day 21 start suppression (Suprefact)... approximately 8-10 days later I would be staring stims.
Those of you who have read from the beginning will know that I am not enamored with my current IVF clinic. I love my doctor but I do not get to see her all the time and some of the nurses are sweet and some are bitches. The clinics success rates are average, 35% success for women under 35. Success is defined by the presence of a heartbeat at 6 weeks.
The new doctor I went to for a 2nd opinion posts a success rate of 51% for women between 30-35 but success is defined as pregnancy - positive beta. Having been there and no baby to show for it, I don't consider that very fucking successful.
The fertility centre I considered in Calgary posts a success rate of 55%. But again this success rate is listed as "pregnancy rate". Although it is not specified, my guess is that this means positive beta's.
I do not think that I could compare a 35% success of getting people to the point of a beating heart (where I know things can still go wrong but at that point is a lot less likely) to 55% success of getting a positive beta (cause we all know that those fuckers don't always double or keep doubling).
So, what to do. I have read your stories, so I know that I can get bitchy nurses at whichever clinic I go to. My doctor is a very positive woman. She explains things (although sometimes has to be prodded for details like #'s) and seems to believe that she can get us pregnant yet. She tells us that we have been so close (2 chemical) and that we just have to create the right circumstances. Her newest theory is that we should decrease the dose of stims to ensure I don't overstimulate (last time made 32 antral follicles and retrieved 19 mature eggs) and see if we can grow fewer eggs over a longer time period (last time I was slow to start developing but once I did they were mature in approx 5 days).
She says things like "you make great eggs, he has great sperm, you make perfect embryo's, we just need to get that lining as thick and cushy as we can and maybe the lower level of estrogen (last time mine went up to 12,000) will make the environment nicer for them to stick around. Don't give up, I can't guarantee anything but I believe we will get you pregnant yet."
So I am left deciding. I like my doctor. I like that she knows my cervix and very rarely has problems with it anymore (not a statement I can make for new doctors). I did get pregnant the first time. At least 15-20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. Maybe that won't happen again.
Or maybe... I should change clinics, get out of Dodge, find a new protocol and a change of scenery. Maybe I should suck up the drive and go to the shared risk program in the States.
Please feel free to offer advice or assvice.
Also, I had a great weekend camping. I will post about it, with pictures once I get some work done.
Several of you asked about shared risk programs and whether I had considered that option seeing as how my last IVF and ensuing FET's had gone tits up. As far as I know there are no shared risk programs at Canadian Fertility Clinics. I have checked at my clinic and the other clinics that I know of in Ontario. I have also researched several other clinics in Canada but have not found such a program. If any of my Canadian readers know of such a program, please let me know.
The closest US city to me is Buffalo but the research I have done on their infertility clinics (and I admit it is all web based) seems to suggest that they don't have the best facilities. The closest recommended US fertility clinic to me is in Rochester. http://www.cnyfertility.com/costs.html They charge $20,000.00 (currently $22,500.00 Canadian currency) for their shared risk program. 6 fresh IVF cycles and unlimited FET (if you qualify for the program) in 2 years. If it doesn't work, you get all of your money back. This does not include medication. Most of the clinics here in Canada charge around $5,000.00 for IVF and this includes all the consultations, blood work, ultrasounds etc. It also does not include medication. So in Canada 6 cycles would cost $24,000.00 but I would not get my money back if it did not work. The question, outside of am I prepared to do 6 cycles and how much of a gambler am I, is "am I willing to drive 2 and 1/2 hours for treatment. I mean that doesn't sound like a long drive but you all know how often you have to go to the clinic during an active cycle. Every day for at least 10 days. I would be driving a minimum of 5 hours each of those days. And driving that much when I am very emotional. Just not sure that's smart.
Someone else asked the question about whether my insurance would cover my water damage. No it doesn't. The water poured in through an old window. My policy says it will not cover the cost of repairs if the problem was in existence at the time the policy was put in place (or the cost of ongoing maintenance to ensure such problems do not arise). The window is probably 30 years old - we should have checked it and had it replaced when we moved in. They would cover damage to any of my contents as a result of the water damage. However we didn't have any. The basement is unfinished. We use it as storage and although I am not always so smart, I had the foresight to put almost everything into plastic rubbermaid storage containers.
But as it turns out, it might not cost as much to fix this mess as originally feared. We spent about $300 on various items like a shop vac (to suck up the water), caulking (to temporarily keep any water outside until the window could be replaced, bleach and various other cleaning supplies (to ensure there is no mould growth), etc. The two contractors that have been here to give me quotes have both agreed that nothing major needs to be done to the basement floor. They say it will cost between $600 - $1000 to replace the window and probably $3000 - $4000 to fix the basement floor and replace the wooden support wall that has some rot (and should have alerted us to previous water problems!). That is doable and in fact some of it, like replacing the window, we could do ourselves and save some money.
Inspired by Manuela, http://manuela.blogs.com/thin_pink_line/ , I had lots and lots of baby making sex this month. You girls know that after you progress from sex to IUI to IVF, you have very little faith that something as primitive as sex could get you pregnant. But, it is not a urban legend, not some myth made up 20,000 years ago to give hope to the barren. Manuela is pregnant and has the pictures to prove it. And she got pregnant in between treatment by.... gasp... having sex! Anyway, it is also not a success story for everyone because on CD 32 I am most definitely not pregnant and I am pretty sure I ovulated on CD 20 so it was not too early to test.
So now I am left deciding what to do. I should be staring my period in the next day or two. Once that happens I could get things rolling on a 2nd fresh IVF cycle. I simply go in for day 3 blood work and ultrasound and then on day 21 start suppression (Suprefact)... approximately 8-10 days later I would be staring stims.
Those of you who have read from the beginning will know that I am not enamored with my current IVF clinic. I love my doctor but I do not get to see her all the time and some of the nurses are sweet and some are bitches. The clinics success rates are average, 35% success for women under 35. Success is defined by the presence of a heartbeat at 6 weeks.
The new doctor I went to for a 2nd opinion posts a success rate of 51% for women between 30-35 but success is defined as pregnancy - positive beta. Having been there and no baby to show for it, I don't consider that very fucking successful.
The fertility centre I considered in Calgary posts a success rate of 55%. But again this success rate is listed as "pregnancy rate". Although it is not specified, my guess is that this means positive beta's.
I do not think that I could compare a 35% success of getting people to the point of a beating heart (where I know things can still go wrong but at that point is a lot less likely) to 55% success of getting a positive beta (cause we all know that those fuckers don't always double or keep doubling).
So, what to do. I have read your stories, so I know that I can get bitchy nurses at whichever clinic I go to. My doctor is a very positive woman. She explains things (although sometimes has to be prodded for details like #'s) and seems to believe that she can get us pregnant yet. She tells us that we have been so close (2 chemical) and that we just have to create the right circumstances. Her newest theory is that we should decrease the dose of stims to ensure I don't overstimulate (last time made 32 antral follicles and retrieved 19 mature eggs) and see if we can grow fewer eggs over a longer time period (last time I was slow to start developing but once I did they were mature in approx 5 days).
She says things like "you make great eggs, he has great sperm, you make perfect embryo's, we just need to get that lining as thick and cushy as we can and maybe the lower level of estrogen (last time mine went up to 12,000) will make the environment nicer for them to stick around. Don't give up, I can't guarantee anything but I believe we will get you pregnant yet."
So I am left deciding. I like my doctor. I like that she knows my cervix and very rarely has problems with it anymore (not a statement I can make for new doctors). I did get pregnant the first time. At least 15-20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. Maybe that won't happen again.
Or maybe... I should change clinics, get out of Dodge, find a new protocol and a change of scenery. Maybe I should suck up the drive and go to the shared risk program in the States.
Please feel free to offer advice or assvice.
Also, I had a great weekend camping. I will post about it, with pictures once I get some work done.
Friday, August 04, 2006
It's a long weekend and I'm going camping!
Yay!!! My husband and I love to camp. LOVE LOVE LOVE to camp. We have done lots of campground camping but mostly we love wilderness/back country camping. We usually choose canoe/portage over backpacking but whatever, we just love back country camping.
Anyway, we have not gone camping in 3 years, since we moved to Ontario. Partly because we have been ttc and never wanted to go away if I was in the middle of a cycle or possibly pregnant and partly because we spend our vacation time going to Newfoundland and it is hard to camp for just a long weekend and partly because Ontario has predatory bears. I am not joking. Predatory bears is no laughing matter. Now anytime you go into the back country you take your chances of running into a bear. As outdoors people you know what you should do. There is always the chance that you will somehow run into a bear and make it feel cornered, or run into it with cubs and that would be dangerous. But for the most part, bears are as scared of us as we are of them and they just turn and run the other way as soon as they hear us coming or as soon as we give them the opportunity. Rick and I have actually seen bears while camping but never had an "encounter". We've seen them on the shore from our canoe or we've seen them swimming while we are canoing. Once we saw one at 10:00 am leaving the very island we had slept on the night before. However, none of these sightings scared us. In fact it only validated my theory that they are as scared of us as we are of them. In my experience, bears always go the other way. So as long as you don't leave food, or the smell of food, around your campsite you should have no problems with bears.
BUT.... big, big but. When bears make predatory attacks, it means they have lost their fear of humans. It is not that they were cornered or felt threatened. But that they hunted the humans. That they picked up their scent, circled around, followed them for a while and then attacked, for no good reason. This is common in grisly bears but we don't have grisly bears in Ontario. What we have had is a handful (and only a handful) of black bears who have made predatory attacks in the last 10 years. BUT PEOPLE. I mean really. I am not going into the back country to have a 600 lb animal stalk and try to hunt me. I have to draw my line in the sand somewhere and I draw it at camping with predatory bears.
My brother is also an avid camper (My Dad was a teacher and later with the School Board and had the summer off, we would camp the entire summer, from end of June until late August - ever year). However, my brother's girlfriend has never, ever camped. She was born in India and immigrated to Ireland when she was 11 and then to Canada when she was 15. She is the most wonderful person and I can't wait to take her camping. So we all agreed that our first trip should be campground camping. Ease her in gradually and then we will try a short canoe camping trip (with only 1 or 2 portages).
So we are going here http://nysparks.state.ny.us/parks/info.asp?parkID=105 and I am amazed by how excited I am. Hiking and swimming and exploring and campfires and smores (OMG SMORES!) I just cannot wait.
I'll tell you all about it when I get back.
Anyway, we have not gone camping in 3 years, since we moved to Ontario. Partly because we have been ttc and never wanted to go away if I was in the middle of a cycle or possibly pregnant and partly because we spend our vacation time going to Newfoundland and it is hard to camp for just a long weekend and partly because Ontario has predatory bears. I am not joking. Predatory bears is no laughing matter. Now anytime you go into the back country you take your chances of running into a bear. As outdoors people you know what you should do. There is always the chance that you will somehow run into a bear and make it feel cornered, or run into it with cubs and that would be dangerous. But for the most part, bears are as scared of us as we are of them and they just turn and run the other way as soon as they hear us coming or as soon as we give them the opportunity. Rick and I have actually seen bears while camping but never had an "encounter". We've seen them on the shore from our canoe or we've seen them swimming while we are canoing. Once we saw one at 10:00 am leaving the very island we had slept on the night before. However, none of these sightings scared us. In fact it only validated my theory that they are as scared of us as we are of them. In my experience, bears always go the other way. So as long as you don't leave food, or the smell of food, around your campsite you should have no problems with bears.
BUT.... big, big but. When bears make predatory attacks, it means they have lost their fear of humans. It is not that they were cornered or felt threatened. But that they hunted the humans. That they picked up their scent, circled around, followed them for a while and then attacked, for no good reason. This is common in grisly bears but we don't have grisly bears in Ontario. What we have had is a handful (and only a handful) of black bears who have made predatory attacks in the last 10 years. BUT PEOPLE. I mean really. I am not going into the back country to have a 600 lb animal stalk and try to hunt me. I have to draw my line in the sand somewhere and I draw it at camping with predatory bears.
My brother is also an avid camper (My Dad was a teacher and later with the School Board and had the summer off, we would camp the entire summer, from end of June until late August - ever year). However, my brother's girlfriend has never, ever camped. She was born in India and immigrated to Ireland when she was 11 and then to Canada when she was 15. She is the most wonderful person and I can't wait to take her camping. So we all agreed that our first trip should be campground camping. Ease her in gradually and then we will try a short canoe camping trip (with only 1 or 2 portages).
So we are going here http://nysparks.state.ny.us/parks/info.asp?parkID=105 and I am amazed by how excited I am. Hiking and swimming and exploring and campfires and smores (OMG SMORES!) I just cannot wait.
I'll tell you all about it when I get back.
Friday, July 28, 2006
Why we cancelled our weekend away
1. Because having a waterfall in your house is not nearly as appealing as you would think.
2. Because this is not what I had in mind when I said I like to see ripples in the water.
3. Because if no one is home, who will be squigy boy?
4. Because this was what we were doing at 5:00 am and that would make me very cranky by 8:00 pm.
Oh Yeah, after 3 weeks of crazy heat wave and humidity (temperatures in the low 30's Celsius(low 90's Fahrenheit) and humidex of 40 Celsius (approximately 104 Fahrenheit). We now have had 2 straight weeks of rain and last night's 3rd daily pounding thundering storm unleashed our own little rainforest in the basement. It not only came in through the window in torrents but it also came up through several cracks in the basement floor. We have lived in this house for 2 years and this has never happened before.
I am calling a contractor today but how much do you want to bet this little unexpected renovation project will be over $10,000.00.
2. Because this is not what I had in mind when I said I like to see ripples in the water.
3. Because if no one is home, who will be squigy boy?
4. Because this was what we were doing at 5:00 am and that would make me very cranky by 8:00 pm.
Oh Yeah, after 3 weeks of crazy heat wave and humidity (temperatures in the low 30's Celsius(low 90's Fahrenheit) and humidex of 40 Celsius (approximately 104 Fahrenheit). We now have had 2 straight weeks of rain and last night's 3rd daily pounding thundering storm unleashed our own little rainforest in the basement. It not only came in through the window in torrents but it also came up through several cracks in the basement floor. We have lived in this house for 2 years and this has never happened before.
I am calling a contractor today but how much do you want to bet this little unexpected renovation project will be over $10,000.00.
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