Well it is day 6pd5t and this morning I gave in to the stick. Nothing... it was as white as a wedding dress, as the pure driven snow, as.... well you all know how very fucking white it was.
Now I know that it could be too early. Although in reality it is 11 days post ovulation and my luteal phase is usually only 12 days. But I know that I could have late implanters. And I am grateful to Serenity for telling me that frozen embryo's sometimes implant later - I had not been told that before. But. BUT... In my gut I feel that they are already gone. That there is nothing in there except a bloated stomach thanks to the PIO. And I have learned that when it comes to my reproductivity my gut is cynical and usually right.
I am glad that I am going on vacation in three days. It will be easier to deal with another negative when I am in a place surrounded by fun and positive things.
Usually I don't find negatives that hard to deal with. Miscarriage was hell but BFN's I have gotten used to. I don't think I was overly upset the last BFN from a FET but I have to tell you, today I am really really sad. Sad that it's negative. Sad that 2 "perfect" embryo's are gone. And sad because there is no explanation.
And when we got the result this morning, Rick actually said, "perhaps it's time to start the adoption process". So I know he feels the same way!
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I hope they always stay this close!
20 comments:
Oh Krista. That's so crap. But you sound positive about future possibilities?? Love to you x
Krista, I'm so sorry for you. IF sucks so bad. I hope you're able to unwind on your holiday and then start your future with a fresh outlook.
Damn, Krista. I really hope it was just too early, but I know how difficult it is to have to accept those things. IF is such a mindtease.
Krista I am so sorry for you and DH. I hope the vacation gives you two a little rest. We are leaving in two days for ours as well..Much needed. Hugs sweetie.
It's too early dear. I'll continue to hope the best for this cyle.
I hope it's too early. I am glad you sound positive. You really have to keep an open mind though all of this IF crap. Best wishes to you!
Krista, don't lose hope...it may be too early. I tested the morning of my beta and got a very faint + and my beta was 414. Hope you have a nice vacation.
I'm so sorry, Krista, it's so disappointing to get a result like that. Hoping for you that your next step is a positive one.
Yuck. I am so sorry. :(
But I really think it's too early, and *I* am holding out hope for you - even on my fresh cycle I only had a beta of 21 at 11dp3dt, which is barely positive - most hpts wouldn't have registered it.
Hang in there. Hugs.
I POAS like a woman crazed, even though I know... I know in my heart and soul that the pee sticks are pure evil. It may be too early. I hope your holiday makes you feel better.
Krista, I hope it was too early to test. This whole process sucks.
I hope that you and Rick are able to move forward together and support each other.
Thinking of you!
I am so sorry... I do want to say that it is still early... I really hope and pray that you still get your miracle this month.
I really hope that the vacation helps you!
You will be in my thoughts and prayers!
I am so sorry--I hope it is just too early to test. I am still keeping my fingers crossed for you. Please try to enjoy your vacation. Thinking of you!
I am so sorry Krista. I am holding out hope that it was just too early. Try to enjoy your time away. Hugs.
Krista...I'm so sorry. Thinking of you.
I'm sorry about the BFN. That sucks.
Sad. Sad. Sad.
Oh Krista - I'm so sorry you're feeling sad today. I'm thinking about you and hoping that joy comes into your life soon.
I am so sorry, I am hoping it was just to early.
I am just back from my vacation and catching up. I hope you enjoy your vacation
Take care and I am thinking of you
Thinking of you....
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